GRANDLINE
by Y St. Ace
Summary: *UPDATE*  One Piece crossed with the musical RENT - if the idea of the pirates singing tickles your funny bone, this is for you
1. Cast

Grandline: An OP/RENT parody  
  
Disclaimer: One Piece is owned by Eiichiro Oda, Shueisha, Avex, etc. RENT is owned by Finster and Lucy Music LTD and written by Johnny Larson (moment of silence for a genius). The use of these characters, songs, and situations are not meant to imply that they are mine. This is a parody and for entertainment only.  
  
Author's Notes: I decided to mangle my favorite musical and my favorite manga when I was listening to the soundtrack and watching OP simultaneously. The Tango: Maureen came on just as Nami was seducing another fool into doing her bidding. I thought the song could easily be re-titled 'The Tango: Nami' and the idea snowballed from there. If nothing else, I hope that One Piece fans will be intrigued enough to hunt down the soundtrack to RENT and listen to it. The Tony awards can't be wrong!  
  
To minimize confusion, there is no OP continuity. Vivi is in Loguetown, Smoker references Alabasta…(looks under papers, around desk), yup, no continuity here.  
  
The new dialogue and verses are not always dead on with the rhythm in the musical. Some verses are cut out of a few songs (to make my life easier - it's a parody, not Shakespeare.)  
  
THE CAST   
(in order of appearance and only most of the time)  
(racial characteristics based on original casting of RENT):  
  
Mark Cohen; a glasses wearing freelance director is now:  
Sanji, best chef on the sea who wants to find All Blue  
  
Roger Davis; ex-junkie, HIV positive singer is now:  
Roronoa Zoro, ex sword junkie who wants to be the greatest swordsman in the world   
  
Tom Collins; anarchist, computer programmer, and homosexual is now  
Monkey D. Luffy, the guy who's going to be the pirate king and Captain of the Straw Hat crew  
  
Benjamin Coffin III; 'the mogul in his own mind', cheater, and slumlord is now  
Captain Smoker the White Hunter, a Marine determined to bring the Straw Hat crew to justice  
  
Joanne Jefferson; lawyer, activist, and lesbian is now:  
Vivi-anne, princess of Alabasta (get it? Vivi-anne - Joanne. Haha…okay, maybe not.)  
  
Angel Dumont Schunard; drum playing, HIV positive cross-dresser is now:  
Usopp, a liar of the first degree, sniper, and valiant warrior of the sea and Chopper, doctor and transforming reindeer  
  
Mimi Marquez; 'dances' at the Cat Scratch Club and HIV positive junkie is now  
Tashigi, sergeant major and dangerously clumsy sword junkie  
  
Maureen Johnson; singer, actress, and lesbian is now:  
Nami, self proclaimed thief specializing in pirates and navigator of the Going Merry Go  
  
Misc. Characters:  
Joanne's Parents, wealthy liberal influential lawyers: Igaram and Cobra  
Mark's Mom: Crocodile  
Alison, blueblood New York high class society princess: Hina 


	2. Training #1

(The Going Merry Go is docked in the Loguetown port. The musical begins in the kitchen/all purpose room of the ship, which has been converted into the loft format of Mark and Roger's apartment, for the sake of parody. Zoro is training. A large piece of steel sits in front of him. Sanji is cooking.)  
  
Sanji:   
We begin on the night before the anniversary of Gold Roger's execution with me, Sanji, and my crewmate, Zoro.   
  
Training #1 (was Tune up #1)  
Sanji:   
Execution Eve, 9 p.m., Grandline Standard Time, from here on in, I cook without a script. See if anything comes of it. (tastes sauce.) This is some good shit. (Zoro takes a deep breath and swipes at the block of steel. The sword bounces back and almost hits him in the face.) Look at Zoro, trying to cut some steel - he's been trying for half a year -   
  
Zoro:   
This sword won't cut.  
  
Sanji:   
So we hear. He's just coming back from exhaustive injuries...  
  
Zoro:   
Are you talking to me?  
  
Sanji:   
Not at all. Are you ready? (begins whisking) Gotta get our dinner ready. So whatcha doing, Zoro?  
  
Zoro:  
I'm training to become -   
  
(The phone rings.)  
  
Sanji:   
The phone rings. We screen. Tune in to the answering machine. 


	3. Dendenmushi #1/Training #2

Dendenmushi #1 (was Voice Mail #1)  
Sanji and Zoro's Outgoing Message:   
SPEAK… (beeeep)  
  
Voice of Crocodile (a la Mark's Mom):  
That was a very loud beep.  
I don't even know if this is working.  
3? 3? Are you there?  
Are you screening your calls?  
(Menacing) It's your boss.  
  
Wanted to know if you killed those pirates  
And got rid of the princess.  
All the other agents are here -   
  
Voice of Bon Clay:   
We send our love!  
  
Voice of Crocodile:  
Shut up, Mr. 2!  
  
Hope your sidekick liked the paint set.  
Just complete your mission  
You know what you have to do.  
  
Oh, and 3,  
I really don't want to hear excuses.  
Here's my policy.  
If you don't get your assignment done;  
You'll be floating in the sea.  
  
Voice of Bon Clay:   
Looooooooooove  
  
Crocodile:   
Boss.  
  
Training #2 (was Tune Up #2)  
Sanji:   
Hmmm, wrong number, I guess.  
Whatcha doing Zoro?  
  
Zoro:  
I'm training to become -  
  
(The phone rings.)  
  
Sanji:   
We screen.   
  
Sanji and Zoro's Answering Machine:   
SPEAK…(beep)  
  
Luffy (on payphone, somewhere in Loguetown):   
Meat is roasting….  
  
Zoro and Sanji:   
Luffy!  
  
Luffy:   
I'm hungry.  
  
Sanji (drops spoon, grabs phone):   
Hey!  
  
Luffy:   
Zoro picked up the phone?  
  
Sanji:   
No, it's me.  
  
Luffy:   
A pirate bento, please. (he yawns)  
  
Sanji (to no one in particular):   
A wild voyage is now pre-ordained.  
  
Luffy (yawns again):   
I may be detained.  
  
(Luffy falls asleep, and slumps backwards out of the phone booth, into the middle of the street.)  
  
Sanji:   
(To Zoro) What does he mean? (Into the receiver) What do you mean, detained? I'm cooking FOR YOU! (Sanji hangs up, the phone rings again, Sanji answers it) Where are you?  
  
(The voice, however, is most definitely not Luffy.)  
  
Smoker:  
Ho ho ho.  
  
Sanji and Zoro:   
Smoker! Shit!  
  
Smoker:   
Pirates, I'm on my way.  
  
Sanji and Zoro:   
Great! Fuck.  
  
Smoker:   
I'm arresting you.  
  
Sanji:   
For what?  
  
Smoker:   
The past year's crimes that I let slide.  
  
Zoro:   
Let slide? We saved your life!   
  
Sanji:  
You were drowning. In Raindinners'!   
  
Zoro:  
Remember? The giant cage?  
  
Smoker:   
How could I forget? You, me, Luffy, Nami -  
How is the pirate queen?  
  
Sanji:   
She's working tonight.  
  
Smoker:   
I know.   
Still cooking for her?  
  
Sanji:   
Two days ago I was dumped.  
  
Smoker:   
You still going after her?  
  
Sanji:   
Last month I was bumped.   
  
Zoro:   
She's in love.  
  
Smoker:   
She got a new slave?  
  
Sanji:   
Well no.  
  
Smoker:   
What's his name?  
  
Both:   
(beat) Vivi-anne.  
  
Smoker:   
Justice, amigos, is due. I will have to arrest you. See you in a few.  
  
(Zoro, in his immense frustration at hearing Smoker's voice, attempts to cut through steel - and fails again. Then the lights and stove go out.)  
  
Sanji:   
The power blows… Zoro, if you want to eat, we have to get a fire going!  
  
Zoro:  
Are the Marines attacking?  
  
Sanji:   
No. I want to know who gave them our number. I thought we were unlisted. Now put the swords down and help me! 


	4. GRANDLINE

GRANDLINE (was RENT)  
Sanji:  
How do you begin to find a dream;  
A blue sea where all the fish of the   
world teem;  
Red lines - Grand lines  
blow my mind  
And now there's this bounty  
'Catch them; we pay!'  
  
Zoro:  
How can you win a duel  
When the swords are wrong  
Though they once cut right and rare?  
When the metal is sour  
Where is the power  
You once had to slice the air!  
  
Sanji:  
Working ourselves to the bones -  
  
Zoro:   
It's the life that we've chosen.  
  
Together:  
How we gonna fiiiiind  
How we gonna fiiiiind  
How we gonna fiiiiind  
The Grand Line!  
  
(They begin the burning of random things to start a fire so Sanji can continue cooking.)  
  
Sanji:  
Should we be setting Nami's maps and notes on fire?  
How can you chase a dream  
When you've lost your team and  
You won't eat an akuma no mi!  
  
Zoro:  
How do you fight a guy  
Who has hawk like eyes  
  
Together:  
And once cut you down to size!  
How we gonna fiiiiiind  
How we gonna fiiiiiind  
How we gonna fiiiiiind  
The Grandline!  
  
(Cut to Vivi, outside, talking on her portable Dendenmushi)  
Vivi:  
Don't screen, Nami.  
It's me, Vivi.  
Your substitute chef in training.  
Hey, hey, hey. Did you eat it?  
Don't change the subject, Nami.  
But, Nami, you haven't eaten all day.  
  
You won't throw up.  
You won't throw up.  
My cooking isn't that bad, okay.  
There may have been one teeny tiny flame…  
YOU'RE NOT CALLING SANJI!  
  
(Cut to Luffy, in Loguetown):  
Luffy (snoring, then mutters in his sleep):   
Hungry…  
  
(A random pirate sees the sleeping Luffy. He rummages through the unconscious Gomu boy's pockets. Finding nothing, he takes the straw hat.)  
  
Sanji:  
Where is he?  
  
Luffy:   
So hungry….  
  
Sanji and Zoro:  
How we gonna fiiiiiind  
How we gonna fiiiiiind  
How we gonna fiiiiiind  
The Grandline!  
  
(Cut to Smoker, on his Dendenmushi…)  
Smoker:  
Captain Hina - you sound pissed  
I don't believe those pirates  
After everything I've done.  
  
Ever since Alabasta  
I'm dirt - they'll see  
I'll get them all in the long run.  
  
Marines are gathering  
Marines are gathering  
Can't run away  
Marines are gathering  
  
Sanji (trying to cook over flame):  
The spices ignite the night with passionate fire!  
  
Vivi:  
Nami - I'm not your personal slave.  
  
Zoro:  
The air explodes with the rage of a blade!  
  
Vivi:   
I'm the princess, remember?  
  
Zoro and Sanji:   
We're going to leave this town in the dust.  
  
Vivi:   
Hello?  
  
Both:   
Seeking our dreams in the Pirate Age.  
  
Vivi:   
Hello?  
  
Sanji (on phone):  
Hello? Nami-san? (gets heart in his eyes)  
Vivi's soufflé is a mess?  
Okay, all right, I'll go!  
  
Sanji:   
How do you leave the Marines behind,  
When they keep finding ways to track you down.  
They reach way down deep and tear  
You inside out  
Til you're torn apart.  
  
Zoro:  
How can you connect in an age  
Where strangers, Marines, pirates,  
Your own crewmates betray?  
  
All:  
What keeps a ship together  
When the raging, shifting winds of change  
Keep ripping away?  
  
Smoker:  
Draw a line in the sand  
And then make a stand.  
  
Sanji:  
Use your feet to spar!  
  
Zoro:   
Use a scimitar!  
  
All:  
When they act tough, you call their bluff.  
  
Zoro and Sanji:  
We are gonna fiiiiiiiiiind  
  
Zoro and Sanji w/ half the company:  
We are gonna fiiiiiiiiiind  
  
Zoro and Sanji w/ other half of the company:  
We are gonna fiiiiiiiiiind  
  
All:  
The Grandline!  
The Grandline!  
The Grandline!  
  
We are gonna fiiiiiiiiiiind  
The Grandline!  
  
Grand Grand Grand Grand Line!  
We're gonna sail the Grandline!  
We're gonna fiiiiind the Grandline! 


	5. You Okay, Luffy?

You Okay, Luffy? (was You Okay, Honey?)  
(on a street in Loguetown. A drunken pirate stumbles around, picking up random bits of trash, looking into garbage bins...)  
  
Drunk Pirate:  
Gotta find that One Piece!  
Gotta fine that One Piece!  
Gotta find that One Piece!  
(despondent)  
It's somewhere else.  
Not here.  
  
(Luffy wakes up and pats his head absentmindedly. He realizes that he doesn't have his hat and begins screaming bloody murder. Usopp and Chopper step out of the shadows; they are definitely not dressed in drag.)  
  
Chopper:   
You okay, mister?  
  
Luffy (screaming):  
Oh no! Oh no!   
  
Usopp (waits for Luffy to pick up the verse, realizes that Luffy isn't and continues with song):   
Did they get any money?  
  
Luffy:   
No! But they stole my hat!   
(screaming at no one in particular)  
I'll kill you bastards!  
(Chopper shoots him up with just enough tranquilizer to calm him down.)  
Thanks.  
  
Usopp:  
My name's Usopp.  
Captain Usopp.  
  
Luffy:  
Usopp? Indeed. You're a liar of the first degree.  
They call me Luffy. Monkey D. Luffy.  
(To both of them) Nice nose.  
(Luffy's stomach rumbles ominously)  
  
Chopper:  
Let's go find some food. But wait!  
There's a Kanazuchi meeting at 9:30.  
  
Usopp:  
This body provides a comfortable home  
To the power of the Devil Fruit, you know.  
  
Luffy:  
As does mine. (turns to Chopper) That's a lie, isn't it?  
  
Usopp:  
You figured me out.   
Let's get you your hat. Have a bite.  
Make it night. I'm flush.  
  
Luffy (proudly):  
That's a lie.  
  
Chopper:  
Got it in one, nice.  
  
Usopp:  
I've been exposed agaaaaaaaain.  
Come on. Let's go. 


	6. Training #3/One Goal Glory

Training #3 (was Tune Up #3)  
Sanji:  
I'm going out to help Nami-san and then find our captain. We'll never get onto the Grandline at this rate. You coming?  
  
Zoro (practicing):  
Someone has to stay and guard the ship.  
  
Sanji:   
Yeah, whatever.   
(shakes his head.) That's Zoro for you.  
His friend Kuina  
Tried to become the greatest swordswoman in the world  
But she died  
Before fulfilling her promise to Zoro…  
  
I'll be back later. Change your mind. You can't practice all the time.  
  
One Goal Glory (was One Song Glory)  
Zoro (singing as he practices):  
I've got to become the greatest swordsman in the world or…  
  
One goal  
Glory  
One vow  
Before I go  
One name to leave behind.  
  
Fight -one duel  
One last battle  
Glory  
From the pretty boy swordsman  
Who lost to that Mihawk guy  
  
One goal  
He was thrown to his feet  
Glory  
By the sword of a young girl  
A young girl  
Find glory  
Beyond the East Blue Sea  
  
One vow  
Before the sun sets  
Glory - on another empty life  
Time flies - time dies  
Glory - One blaze of glory  
  
Find  
Glory  
Three swords that rings true  
Truth like a blazing fire  
An eternal flame  
  
Fight  
One duel  
To keep a promise  
Glory  
From the sword of a young man  
A young man  
  
Glory  
Like a sunset  
One song  
To redeem this timeless vow  
  
Time flies  
And then no need to endure anymore  
Time dies….  
  
(There is a sound on the deck.)  
  
Sanji? 


	7. Find My Glasses

Find My Glasses ( was Light My Candle)  
(Zoro throws open the door. A woman stands back lit in the doorway. As she enters, she trips and falls into the apartment, losing both her sword and her glasses in the process.)  
  
Zoro:  
Are you okay?  
  
Tashigi (on floor, searching):  
My glasses…  
  
Zoro (picks them up, and as he is about to give them to her, sees her face. He crushes them in the palm of his hand):  
I know you! You're -  
(watches her grope blindly for a moment.)  
You're blind? (looks at the crushed glasses in his hand and winces)  
  
Tashigi (still searching):  
I'm sorry.  
Need my glasses to see  
And I'm just   
clumsy on my feet.  
Would you find my glasses?  
(looks up and squints)  
What are you staring at?   
  
Zoro:  
Nothing.  
Your hair in the moonlight.  
You look familiar.  
(Guiltily, looking at the glasses)  
Did you find them?  
  
Tashigi:  
Can't see squat without them  
At least I didn't break my neck  
Anyway.  
What?  
  
Zoro:  
Nothing.  
Your face reminded me of -   
  
Tashigi:  
I always remind people of - who is she?  
  
Zoro:  
She died. Her name was Kuina.  
  
Tashigi:  
My glasses…  
Sorry about your friend.  
(realizes Zoro is holding something)  
Did you find my glasses?  
  
Zoro:  
Well…  
  
Tashigi (stands up, tries to take them and is poked by the shards of glass):  
Ow!  
  
Zoro:  
Oh, the glass - it's -  
  
Tashigi:  
They're broken! (angry) I'm gonna -   
  
Zoro:  
Kill me? I figured.  
Oh well. Good night.  
(He pushes her out the door, but Tashigi comes right back in.)  
You really want to fight?  
  
Tashigi (worried):  
No - I think I dropped my sword.  
  
Zoro:  
I know I've seen you out and about  
When I used to go out.  
Sorry about your glasses…  
  
Tashigi (on ground, looking for sword):  
Who cares?  
I had my sword when I fell through the door.  
It's important.  
Is it on the floor?  
  
Zoro (picks up sword, examines it):  
The floor?  
  
Tashigi (squints and realizes that he has it):  
They say that I have the best sword   
This side of South Blue.  
Is it true?  
  
Zoro:  
What?  
  
Tashigi:  
You're staring again.  
  
Zoro (flustered):  
Oh no.  
I mean you do - have a nice -  
I mean - you look familiar.  
  
Tashigi:  
Like your dead friend.  
  
Zoro:  
Without your glasses.  
But I'm sure I've seen you somewhere else.  
  
Tashigi:  
Have you seen the Marine base?  
That's where I work - I catch - the bad guys.  
  
Zoro:   
Yes!  
You've got the Devil Fruit boss -   
  
Tashigi:  
It's a living.  
  
Zoro:  
I didn't recognize you  
Without the jacket.  
  
Tashigi:  
We could search for swords…  
Oh, won't you search for swords?  
  
Zoro:  
Why don't you forget that stuff?  
You don't look like a Marine.  
  
Tashigi:  
(indignantly) I'm a Marine. And I'm strong for my size!  
I was born to be bushido!  
  
Zoro:  
You wish you were born to be bushido.  
I used to yearn like that.  
  
Tashigi (defensively):  
I'm a Marine. I told you.  
  
Zoro:  
I used to want.  
  
Tashigi:  
I just like swords.  
  
Zoro:  
Uh huh.  
I used to be a sword junkie.  
  
Tashigi:  
Well now and then I like to -   
  
Zoro:  
Uh huh.  
  
Tashigi:  
Col-lect.  
  
Zoro (finally realizing that there is a Marine on the boat):  
Take it - go.  
  
Tashigi (pointing at Zoro's arm, where his black kerchief is knotted):  
What's that?  
  
Zoro:  
Um, it's nothing.  
  
Tashigi:  
We could search for swords…  
Won't you search for swords?  
  
Zoro (hands her the sword):  
Nope. Not gonna.  
(she takes it; their hands - gasp! touch.)  
Cold hands.  
  
Tashigi:  
Yours too.  
Big, like my captain's.  
You wanna spar?  
  
Zoro:  
With you?  
  
Tashigi:  
No. With my captain.  
  
Zoro (considers it, then thinks better of it):  
No way.  
  
Tashigi (as Zoro is pushing her out the door):  
They call me.  
They call me - Tashigi. 


	8. Dendenmushi #2

Dendenmushi #2 (was Voice Mail #2)  
Vivi and Nami's Outgoing Message:  
Hi. You've reached Nami and Vivi. Leave a message and don't forget my performance, protesting the eviction of pirates from Loguetown. Tonight at midnight on the docks. Party at Party's to follow. (beep.)  
  
Voice of Igaram:  
Well, Vivi, we're off.  
I tried you before  
And the thief girl said you were cooking  
Or something.  
  
Voice of Cobra:  
Remind her that the people of Alabasta  
Need her help too.  
  
Voice of Igaram:  
Call Pell for our itinerary or Chaka at the palace  
Or Terracotta in a pinch  
We'll be at the bathhouse for New Year's  
Unless the visiting dignitaries change their mind.  
  
Voice of Cobra:  
The speech!  
  
Voice of Igaram:  
Oh yes, Vivi,  
Your father's ascension anniversary begins on the tenth  
We'll need you - alone- by the sixth.  
  
Voice of Cobra:  
Igaram!  
  
Voice of Igaram:  
You hear that?  
It's three weeks away  
And he's already nervous.  
  
Voice of Cobra:  
I am not!  
  
Voice of Igaram:  
For your father's sake, Vivi,  
No pirates this time   
and wear a dress…  
I will be.   
Vivi, have a Merry!  
  
Cobra:  
And no tattoos! 


	9. A Lie 4 U

A Lie 4 U (was Today 4 U)  
Sanji:  
Enter Monkey D. Luffy, Gomu human, pirate captain, and the guy who swears he's going to be the next pirate king.  
  
Sanji:  
Marlboro and Camel  
  
Luffy:  
Banana by the bunch  
A plate of roasted meat will be so good  
  
Sanji:  
And Nami nude!  
(sees Zoro.)  
Look, I found Luffy!  
  
Zoro:  
Oh hi.  
  
Luffy:  
Oh hi for your captain?  
  
Zoro:   
Whatever.  
  
Sanji:  
This boy could use some Stoli (hands a bottle of cheap vodka to Zoro)  
  
All (singing):  
Oh moonlit night…  
  
Zoro:  
You're drunk already?  
  
Luffy:  
I ran from the bar after   
eating absolutely everything  
and called you from the payphone  
then fell asleep on the street.  
Still haven't cut through steel?  
  
Zoro (getting angry):   
I wouldn't mention that if I were you…  
  
Luffy:  
Well, tonight's the night.  
We got to go see Nami's show.  
  
But first…  
  
Gentleman, our new sniper on Execution Eve  
Whose shooting skill is not his only talent  
I believe.  
Two new members of the Straw Hat Pirate Crew  
Captain Usopp and Chopper, too!  
  
(harp music. Usopp and Chopper come in dancing like ballerinas)  
  
Usopp:  
A lie for you! A lie for me!  
  
Luffy:  
And you should see what they can do!  
  
Zoro (unimpressed):  
You found them on the street?  
  
Usopp:  
It was my lucky day today on Drum Rocky Way  
When a lady in a sleigh, she drove my way.  
She said, "Darling, be a dear - can't find my reindeer.  
I need your help to make my stupid son reappear."  
  
"This blue nosed reindeer just won't give up.  
I believe if you lie non-stop that pup will  
Quit working for those awful Marines.  
I'm certain those jerks will work my son to death!'  
  
A lie for you - a lie for me!  
A lie for you - a lie for me!  
  
We agreed on a fee - thousand berii guarantee  
(then she saved me from one really crazy bunny.)  
I told him that life as a Marine is hell  
And that doctoring for pirates is way more swell!  
  
After an hour of lying in all my glory  
The reindeer fell for every single story  
  
Chopper:  
So I packed up my stuff and gave my boss the bad news  
And left with this liar to join a pirate crew!  
  
Usopp:  
Then back to the street where we met Luffy  
Where he was moaning and groaning  
On the cold concrete.  
If I could find his hat and get him back on his feet.  
He said that I was welcome to captain his fleet!  
  
Luffy:  
No I didn't!  
  
Usopp:  
Sing it  
A lie for you - a lie for me!  
A lie for you - a lie for me!  
A lie for you - a lie for me!  
A lie for you - a lie for me! 


	10. Can't Flee

Can't Flee (was You'll See)  
Smoker:  
Hey you bum - yeah you move over  
Get your ass off my land rover!  
  
Sanji:  
That's just the kind of Marine corruption that Nami-san is protesting tonight.  
  
Close up: Captain Smoker the White Hunter. He works with Black Cage Hina - he's in charge of Loguetown, wants to clean it up.  
  
Smoker:  
Nami is protesting the loss of her victims, not Marine corruption.  
  
Zoro:  
What happened to Smoker?  
What happened to his heart and the ideals he once pursued?  
  
Smoker:  
A Marine has the right to do whatever he pleases.  
  
Usopp (aside):  
And keep the treasure he seizes.  
  
Smoker:  
You're mine.  
  
Sanji (throws down his cigarette in a gesture of defiance):  
You're wasting your time.  
  
Luffy (puts his dukes up):   
You can't stop us.  
  
Zoro (reaches for his sword):  
And you broke your word - this is absurd.  
  
Smoker:  
There is one way you won't have to pay.  
  
Zoro:   
What?  
  
Smoker:  
In this port, there's pirate scum, you see  
And now that I have my orders  
'incarceration' must become their reality!  
  
Can't flee, boys.  
Can't flee, boys.  
  
A port that is safe, clean, and conducive to tourism.  
However, I'll forget your past crimes  
And give you my personal guarantee  
If you do me one small favor.  
  
Sanji:  
What?  
  
Smoker:  
Convince Nami to cancel her protest.  
  
Zoro:  
Why not use your overwhelming tactical majority?  
  
Smoker:  
I would, and my men are on standby, but headquarters would rather I handle this quietly.  
  
Luffy:  
You can't quietly wipe out a port full of pirates  
Without them fighting back.  
  
Smoker:  
You want to become the pirate king?  
You need to be free to do it.  
I know it's what you are dreaming about  
Think twice before you try and do it.  
  
Can't flee, boys.  
Can't flee, boys.  
  
Just stop Nami's show  
And I'll let you go.  
There's no other way   
You'll get away.  
  
(Smoker leaves to go harass more pirates.)  
  
Sanji:  
What do you think, guys?  
  
Zoro:  
He's got thugs.  
  
Usopp:  
And one ugly mug.  
  
Chopper:  
Which reminds me -   
We have a detour to make tonight  
Anyone who wants to can come along.  
  
Luffy:  
Kanazuchi is a group for people with Devil Fruit Powers.  
You don't have to stay long.  
  
Sanji:  
First I've got a souffle to save.  
  
Usopp:  
Zoro?  
  
Zoro:  
I'm not much company you'll find.  
  
Sanji:  
No kidding.  
  
Luffy:  
You can catch up later - you've just got  
Other things on your mind.  
You'll see, boys.  
  
Usopp and Chopper:  
We'll see, boys.  
  
Zoro:   
Shut up, boys.  
  
All:  
We'll see. 


	11. The Tango: Nami

The Tango Nami (was The Tango Maureen)  
(Vivi is despondent. Three different soufflés are in front of her; one is burnt beyond recognition, one is fallen, and one is perfect in all respects, except that it is rock hard.)   
  
Vivi:   
Why do I have to cook the food for the rally? (begins to stir a bowl of something) I understand that her livelihood depends on there being pirates to steal from, but organizing a rally to prevent the Marines from kicking them out of Loguetown? (sighing) Nami has gotten so political lately. It's like I don't even know her.  
  
Sanji:   
That would be the OOC.  
  
Vivi:  
Sanji?  
  
Sanji:  
Hi.  
  
Vivi:  
I told her not to call you.  
  
Sanji:  
That's Nami. But can I help since I'm here?  
  
Vivi:  
I hired a chef.  
  
Sanji:   
Great. Well, nice to see you again, Vivi-chan.  
  
Vivi:  
Wait. The chef is three hours late.  
This soufflé won't rise, but the heat -  
  
Sanji:  
There's another way.  
Give me heat, any kind of heat.  
  
Vivi:   
Ace just left.  
  
Sanji:  
Anyone but him.  
(He rolls up his sleeves and starts cracking eggs.)  
  
Vivi:  
This is weird.  
  
Sanji:  
It's weird.  
  
Vivi:  
Very weird.  
  
Sanji:  
Fuckin' weird.  
  
Vivi:  
I'm so mad  
That I don't know what to do.  
Fighting with carapone   
Worked myself to the bones.  
And to top it all off, I'm with you.  
  
Sanji:  
Feel like going insane?  
Got a fire in your brain?  
And you're thinking of drinking  
gasoline?  
  
Vivi:  
As a matter of fact -  
  
Sanji:  
Vivi, I know this act.  
It's called the Tango: Nami.  
  
The Tango Nami  
It's a dark dizzy merry-go-round.  
As she keeps you dangling…  
  
Vivi:  
You're wrong.   
  
Sanji:  
Your heart she is mangling.  
  
Vivi:  
Me x Nami? I don't think so.  
  
Sanji:  
You toss and you turn  
'cause her cold eyes can burn  
yet you yearn and you churn and rebound.  
  
Vivi:  
I don't know what you mean.  
  
Both:  
The Tango Nami!  
  
Sanji:   
Has she ever pouted her lips and called you 'pookie'?  
  
Vivi:  
Only to you, Sanji.  
  
Sanji:  
Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?  
  
Vivi:  
This is spooky.  
You do know that  
I don't care when she walks through the door?  
  
Sanji:  
So what? Be cautious.  
  
Vivi:  
She doesn't moon over girls -   
  
Sanji (sudden nose bleed):  
I wish.  
  
Vivi:  
You make me nauseous.  
  
(They cook.)  
  
Vivi:  
It's hard to do this cooking stuff…  
  
Sanji:  
You should try it on a boat!!  
  
Vivi:  
She swindled!  
  
Sanji:  
She swindled?  
  
Vivi:  
Nami swindled!  
  
Sanji:  
Fuckin' swindled.  
  
Vivi:  
I'm defeated.  
I should give up right now.  
  
Sanji:  
Gotta look on the bright side   
With all of your might.  
  
Both:  
You'd be involved in her crime anyhow.  
  
When you're dancing her dance  
You don't stand a chance.  
Her grip of death  
Makes you fall.  
  
Sanji:  
So you think, 'Might as well'  
  
Vivi:  
"Take this ship straight to hell!'  
  
Both:  
'At least I'll have sailed at all.'  
  
The Tango Nami  
Gotta sail till our diva is through  
You pretend to believe her  
Cause in the end - you can't leave her.  
  
But the end it will come  
Still you have to play dumb  
Till you're glum and you bum  
  
Vivi:  
And turn blue!  
  
Sanji:  
Why do we love when she's bad?  
  
Vivi:  
That's just you Sanji.  
  
Sanji:  
Try the icing.  
  
Vivi:  
Yum, that's good…  
  
Sanji:  
Fixed!  
  
Vivi:  
Thanks.  
  
Sanji:  
You know - I feel great now.  
  
Vivi:  
Good for you.  
  
Both  
The Tango: Nami! 


	12. Kanazuchi

Kanazuchi (was Life Support)  
(Here's where I put random Devil Fruit people in a room and don't expect them to fight.)  
Buggy:  
Buggy.  
  
Mr. 5:  
Mr. 5.  
  
Walpol:  
Walpol.  
  
Chopper:  
Hi, I'm Chopper.  
  
Luffy:  
Luffy - Monkey D.  
  
Miss Goldenweek (nibbling on senbei, she swallows before beginning):  
Miss Goldenweek. Let's begin.  
  
All:  
There's only us.  
There's only this.  
  
Sanji:  
Sorry…excuse me…oops.  
  
Miss Goldenweek:  
And you are?  
  
Sanji (flustered):  
Oh, I'm not -  
I'm just here to -  
I didn't eat -  
I'm here with -  
Um - Prince!  
Prince! I'm Mr. Prince.  
Well - this is quite an operation.  
  
Miss Goldenweek:  
Sit down Mr. Prince.  
We'll continue the affirmation.  
  
All:  
Forget regret or One Piece's yours to miss.  
  
Buggy:  
Excuse me, Miss Goldenweek, I'm having a problem with this  
This credo.  
My treasure is low -  
I regret that news, okay?  
  
Miss Goldenweek:  
Alright.  
But Buggy, how do you feel today?  
  
Buggy:  
What do you mean?  
  
Miss Goldenweek:  
How do you feel today?  
  
Buggy (grudgingly):  
Okay.  
  
Miss Goldenweek:  
Is that all?  
  
Buggy:  
Best I've felt all year.  
  
Miss Goldenweek:  
Then why choose fear?  
  
Buggy:  
I ate a Devil Fruit and I'm a pirate.  
Fear's my life.  
  
Look I find some of what you teach suspect  
I'm used to relying on violence  
and it's hard to open up to what I don't know.  
  
But reason says I should have drowned  
Three times before…  
  
Chopper:  
Amen.  
  
All:  
No other road.  
No other way.  
We sail the Grandline… 


	13. Fight Tonight

Fight Tonight (was Out Tonight)  
Back at the Marine office. Tashigi has returned to pick up a new pair of glasses from the large stash of extras she keeps in the second drawer of her desk.  
Marine flunky: Sergeant Major, Captain Smoker has been looking all over for you. He says there are new pirates are in town.  
Tashigi: Let me see that Wanted Poster. Luffy Pirate Crew…yadda…yadda…'Zoro: identifying marks: three swords, green haramaki, and black …oh darn!  
Marine flunk: Sergeant?  
  
Tashigi:  
What's the time?  
Well it's gotta be close to midnight  
My sword's talking to me  
It says, 'Time for danger'  
  
It says, 'I wanna stop a crime.  
Wanna be involved in a fight.  
Wanna put on a jacket and arrest a stranger!'  
  
I've had a knack from way back  
At tripping over any little thing. Gotta  
Get up! - Life's too quick.  
  
I know someplace sick  
Where this chick'll cut through the flames  
  
(to the Marine flunky)  
I don't need any back up.  
I always find the scene.  
(walks out of the office and towards the docks)  
You can catch a pirate  
If you join the marines.  
  
Let's go out tonight  
I have to go out tonight  
You wanna fight?  
Don't run away.  
  
Let's spar all night (stubs her toe) Ow,  
  
When I get the head of a pirate  
Do you know how lucky I feel?  
That I'm on line with the justice of the sea!  
  
Let's fight tonight  
I have to fight tonight  
You're tough.  
Wanna get rough?  
Get your sword, we're gonna spar  
Out the night.  
  
On the ocean I've got to sail  
Finding pirates who've gone and skipped bail.  
Don't you hear them wail?  
I can hear the swords cry…  
  
When I meet a pirate lord  
I first check out his sword  
And then we fight and I win  
And he dies…  
  
(Walks up the gangplank onto the deck of the Going Merry Go.)  
  
Please fight with me tonight  
Don't belittle me - out tonight  
I'll let you take me - out tonight  
Tonight - tonight - tonight.  
  
(kicks in door.)  
I'll never forgive you, Zoro! 


	14. You Can't Get Away

You Can't Get Away (was Another Day)  
Note: The second half of the song is sung as a duet with Zoro and Tashigi's lines overlapping. The effect is difficult to do in HTML.  
  
Zoro (recovering from his surprise):  
Who do you think you are  
Barging in on me and my scimitar?  
Little girl - hey  
The door is that way  
You better go, you know,  
I defeat Marines every day.  
  
Take your sword - take your 'power'!  
That copycat face -  
I just can't handle  
  
Well, take your hair in the moonlight  
You brown eyes - goodbye, goodnight.  
  
I should tell you, I should tell you  
I should tell you, I should - No!  
  
Another time - another place  
I had a childhood friend  
You have the same damn face  
You look like how she'd be  
It's driving me crazy.  
So put your glasses on  
Or come back another day  
Another day.  
  
Tashigi:  
My heart can freeze  
Or it can burn.  
The pain will ease  
If I can learn   
  
There is no future  
There is no past  
I face each fight  
Like it's my last.  
  
There's only us.  
There's only this.  
Forget my face  
I can't forget your diss.  
No other road  
No other way.  
You can't get away.  
  
Zoro:  
Excuse me, if I'm off track,  
But you're not so wise.  
Are you smoking crack?  
  
Take your sword,  
And get out of here.  
And don't forget  
Get the moonlight out of your hair.  
  
Long ago - I had a friend just like you  
She is dead and now I've got something to prove…  
  
Another time - another place  
If you didn't look like her  
I'd send you to outer space.  
It'd be another fight.  
It'd be another win.  
Don't wanna prove me right…  
Come back another day.  
Another day.  
  
Tashigi:  
There's only yes  
Only tonight  
You must let go  
So we can fight  
No other course.  
No other day.  
You can't get away.  
  
I can't help my -  
  
Zoro:  
Control your temper  
  
Tashigi:  
Nubility.  
  
Zoro:  
She doesn't see.  
  
Tashigi:  
I trust my sword -  
  
Zoro:  
This is Kuina's sword.  
  
Tashigi:  
My only goal is just to be…  
  
Zoro:  
Just let me be.  
  
Tashigi:  
There's only now.  
  
Zoro:  
Who do you think you are?  
  
Tashigi:  
There's only here.  
You want to fight.  
  
Zoro:  
Barging in on me and my scimitar?  
  
Tashigi:  
No other path.  
You can't get away.  
  
Zoro:  
Little girl, hey  
The door is that way.  
  
Tashigi:  
You can't get away.  
  
Zoro:  
I defeat Marines everyday.  
  
Tashigi (with Marine voices as backup):  
You can't get away (repeat fives times)  
  
Zoro:  
Take your sword  
Take your 'power'  
  
Take your brown eyes  
Your pretty smile  
Your silhouette  
  
Another time  
Another place  
You look like her  
It's driving me insane  
  
Another dance  
Another way  
Another chance  
Another day.  
  
(After the end of the song, Zoro bravely runs.) 


	15. Will I?

Will I? (didn't change from Will I?)  
Luffy:  
Will I become the Pirate King?  
Will One Piece be mine?  
Will I survive the perils  
of the Grandline?  
  
Buggy and Crew:  
Will I become the Pirate King?  
Will One Piece be mine?  
Will I survive the perils  
Of the Grandline?  
  
Pirate Group #2:  
Will I become the Pirate King?  
Will One Piece be mine?  
Will I survive the perils  
Of the Grandline?  
  
Pirate Group #3:  
Will I become the Pirate King?  
Will One Piece be mine?  
Will I survive the perils  
Of the Grandline? 


	16. On the Docks/All Blue

On the Docks…(On the Street)  
(On the docks. Drunk pirates are being rowdy. A few Marines have come to check out the situation.)  
Loud Drunk Pirate:  
Gotta find that One Piece  
Gotta find that One Piece  
Gotta find that One Piece  
  
Pirate Man:  
Pirate living, man.  
  
Loud Drunk Pirate:  
Piss off, Marines.  
  
(At this provocation, the Marines start kicking the crap out of him.)  
  
Luffy:  
Smile for the camera, Marine!  
  
(Luffy joins in, kicking the crud out of the Marines, and saving the drunk pirate from his beating.)  
  
Loud Drunk Pirate:  
Who the fuck do you think you are?  
I don't need no goddam help.  
From some bleeding heart brat.  
My fights aren't for you to   
Stick your nose in on!  
  
Usopp:  
Easy, mister, easy.  
He was just trying to -   
  
Loud Drunk Pirate:   
Trying to take my glory!  
It's not that kind of world, asshole.  
(dusts himself off and turns to his friends)  
Get this - this dock is full of motherfucking bastards.  
Hey, bastard, you wanna fight?  
Bring it on.  
  
(Luffy and Co. easily defeat the pirates. There are now two piles of broken bodies; one of pirates and one of Marines.)  
  
Luffy:   
That was fun!  
  
All Blue (was Santa Fe)  
Luffy:  
Loguetown.  
  
Sanji:  
Uh-huh.  
  
Luffy:  
The beginning and the end.  
  
Usopp:  
You sing it, captain.  
  
Luffy:  
Times are shitty.  
But I'm pretty sure they only get better.  
  
Chopper:  
I hear you.  
  
Luffy:  
It's a comfort to know  
When you're singing the Grandline Blues  
That anywhere else you could possibly go  
After Loguetown would be a pleasure cruise.  
  
Sanji:  
Now you're talking.  
Well, I'm thwarted by a culinary puzzle,  
And I'm sick of cooking for cretins,  
That I know.   
I'm shouting in my sleep, I need a woman.  
Being a pirate pays no salary, noooo…  
I'm gonna open up a restaurant  
Upon All Blue.  
Mythical All Blue would be nice.  
Let's open up a restaurant upon All Blue  
And leave Loguetown to the roaches and mice.  
  
Luffy:  
Oh-oh  
  
All:  
Oh.  
  
Usopp:  
You cook?  
  
Sanji:  
I cook - I'm the best cook on the sea.  
But the captain would eat anything.  
  
Chopper (looking at Luffy, who is picking his nose):  
The captain?  
  
Sanji  
That captain.  
I'm a sensitive aesthete,  
Brush the sauce onto the meat.  
(to Usopp) You can make the menu sparkle  
with lies.  
(to Luffy) You can try to not be dumb  
Chopper'll seat customers as they come,  
Chatting not about islands but wine!  
  
Let's open up a restaurant upon All Blue.  
Our labors would reap financial gains.  
  
All:  
Gains, gains, gains  
  
Sanji:  
Let's open up a restaurant upon All Blue  
And save from devastation our brains.  
  
Pirates:  
Save our brains.  
  
All:  
We'll pack up all our junk and sail so far away.  
Devote ourselves to projects that sell.  
We'll open up a restaurant upon All Blue.  
And forget this cold cavalier hell.  
Oh -  
  
All:  
Oh.  
  
Sanji:  
You know the way to All Blue?  
You know, fish…all of them…  
Yeah. 


	17. I'll Cover/Captain/Doctor You

I'll Cover/Captain/Doctor You (was I'll Cover You)  
Note: I'm extremely proud of this one. I managed to turn a testament of love between a crossdresser and an anarchist into a song about snipers. Thank goodness brother and lover sound similar!  
  
Sanji:  
I'll meet you at the show.  
I'll try and convince Zoro to go.  
  
(Sanji exits.)  
  
Luffy:  
Live on my boat  
I'll be your captain  
Just pay me back with   
One thousand stories  
Be my sniper -  
  
Usopp:  
And I'll cover you.  
Throw down your gangplank  
I'll be your first mate  
Don't got much baggage  
  
To lay at your feet.  
But kaboshi I've got to spare  
I'll be there - I'll cover you.  
  
Both:  
I think they meant it  
When they said you can't buy blood  
Now I know you can rent it  
A friend you are, my bud,  
One life, one pirate life!  
  
Chopper:  
Just let me on  
I'll be your doctor  
Wherever however I'll fix you cuts  
  
Luffy:  
You'll be my doc  
And I'll be your captain  
  
Usopp:  
You'll be my captain  
And I'll be your putz!  
  
All:  
I think they meant it  
When they said you can't buy blood  
Now I know you can rent it  
A friend you are, my bud,  
One life, one pirate life!  
  
Luffy:  
All my life  
I've longed to discover   
A crew as cool as this is!  
  
Chopper:  
With a thousand bandages  
I'll doctor you.  
  
Luffy:  
When I'm hurt and I'm tired.  
  
Usopp:  
With a thousand mad pandas!  
I'll cover you.  
  
Luffy:  
You are such a liar!  
  
All:  
Oh brother I'll doctor/cover/captain you!  
Oh brother I'll doctor/cover/captain you! 


	18. We're Okay

We're Okay (still is We're Okay)  
(In Loguetown, Vivi is networking with various contacts.)  
Vivi:  
(on portable Dendenmushi with Kohza)  
Kohza - Vivi  
Baroque Works?  
Defeated?  
Good work, Leader!  
(the pay Dendenmushi rings; it's Nami.)  
We're okay.  
Nami - wait!  
I'm on the other phone.  
Yes, the food is ready.  
We're okay.  
(To Kohza)  
So tell them we'll sue  
But a settlement will do  
Crocodile's head and Mr. 1's too!  
Kohza - you're great!  
(To Nami)  
No, you get the treasure.  
Didja steal a lot would you say?  
We're okay.  
Nami, hold on.  
Kohza, hold on.  
(she checks call waiting)  
Hello?  
Igaram - yes.  
I beeped you.  
The pirates are coming to Dad's ceremony.  
We're okay!  
(to Nami)  
Nami - what?  
Mr. 2's lesbian sister?  
I'll tell them.  
(To Igaram)  
You heard?  
(to Nami)  
They heard.  
We're okay.  
(to Igaram)  
And to you Igaram  
(she connects back to Kohza while talking to Nami)  
Yes - Nico is there?  
(To Kohza)  
Kohza - gotta -  
(To Nami)  
Nico with the long black hair?  
The Baroques Works agent?  
That works with Crocodile?  
(To Kohza)  
Kohza - gotta go!  
(To Nami)  
Miss All Sunday?  
The officer agent?  
We're -  
We're okay!  
I'm on my way! 


	19. One Piece

21. One Piece (was Christmas Bells)  
(Scene: Execution Square, where Gold Roger's execution stand looms over the cobblestones. Since it is a holiday, numerous pirate elements, as well as plenty of Marines, roam the streets.)  
  
Pirates:  
Gotta find that One Piece  
Gotta find that One Piece  
Gotta find that One Piece  
Right now - today!  
  
Pirate Man:  
Pirate living Pirate living  
Pirate living pirate living  
Pirate living Pirate living  
  
Pirates:  
Can't you spare a hint or two?  
If you're holding back, I'll run you through!  
I will find it - you can't find it  
I will be the Pirate King but...  
  
No treasure  
No maps today  
No gold coins  
No silver  
  
No rubies  
No emeralds  
No -  
  
Solo pirate:  
No Pirate King this evening.  
  
All Pirates:  
Coz the Pirate King ain't living!  
  
No beer in this can of - No way!  
And it's beginning to rain.  
  
Vendors:  
Hats, bats, shoes, booze,  
Revolvers, potpourri  
Leather bags, girlie mags,  
Forty fives, Akuma no mi!  
  
Vendor #1:  
No one's buying.  
Feel like crying.  
  
Pirates:  
No beer in this can of - No way!  
And it's beginning to rain.  
  
Vendor #2:  
How about a coat -   
In perfect shape  
Owned by a corrupt government official?  
I got a cape  
Broken in by a greedy bandit  
Who got caught  
And then beheaded.  
  
Luffy (looking for hat):  
I have got to find it.  
  
Chopper (cowering behind Luffy):  
Not so loud, they'll see me.  
  
Luffy:  
I do not deserve this grief now.  
  
Usopp:  
Gawd!  
Gawd!  
We're gonna die!  
Gawd, help me please,  
Out of this  
mess!  
  
Luffy:  
Wait - is it on the floor?  
Let's see some more.  
(Picking up hats and tossing them around)  
Lame - lame - lame.  
Oh hell - it's beginning to rain.  
  
Sanji:  
She said, 'Would you find my glasses?'  
And she put on a pout  
And she wanted you  
To spar with her tonight?  
  
Zoro:  
Not quite.  
  
Sanji:  
She wants to fight?  
  
Zoro:  
She looked like a friend  
But that was the end.  
It was bad - I got mad  
And I had to get her out of my sight.  
  
Sanji:  
Wait, wait, wait - you said she was  
sweet.  
  
Zoro:  
The Marines are after us.  
We got to go or   
we're dead meat  
Shit! That's her!  
  
Sanji:  
Nami?  
  
Zoro:  
Tashigi!  
  
Sanji (drooling, oblivious of the Marines surrounding her):  
No way!  
  
Zoro:  
We should go!  
  
Both:  
Hey - it's beginning to rain.  
  
Marines:  
I'm dreaming of Marine justice -   
  
Tashigi and Sword Junkies:  
Follow the man - follow the man  
With his sword shop full of the jam.  
Follow the man  
Follow the man  
Help me out, daddy, if you can.  
  
Got any Wadous?  
  
The Man:  
I'm cool.  
  
Tashigi:  
Got a Kinsetsu?  
  
The Man:  
I'm cool.  
  
Tashigi and Sword Junkies:  
Got any tachi,  
sugaha,  
aikuchi,  
any shirasaya style  
tanto?  
  
(Tashigi sees Zoro in the crowd...)  
  
Tashigi:  
Hey!  
  
Zoro:  
Shit!  
  
Tashigi:  
I have got to say -  
Zoro, you can't get away...  
  
Zoro:  
Give it up.  
  
Tashigi:  
I can never forgive you.  
  
Zoro:  
I know.  
  
Tashigi:  
Spar now!  
  
Zoro:  
No can do.  
  
Sanji:  
Hey oneesama - cutie pie  
Dump this guy -   
  
Tashigi (turning on Sanji):   
You want to die?  
  
Zoro:  
I know you're good,  
But not as good as me.  
I made a promise -  
You won't defeat me.  
  
Sword Junkies:  
I'm illin'  
I'm willin'  
Gotta get another sword.  
  
Gotta cut, gotta slice  
Gotta gut, gotta dice - cause some pain.  
  
The Man:  
And it's beginning to rain.  
  
Smoker:  
Wish me luck, Hina.  
This operation is on.  
  
Hat Vendor:   
Fur, felt,  
velvetine   
Sombreros  
Whirly beanies!  
  
Pirate:  
Pirate Living!  
  
Zoro:  
Sanji - this is her!  
  
Sanji (hitting on Tashigi):  
Hello...  
  
Zoro:  
Idiot! She's trying to kill me!  
  
Hat Vendor:  
Here's a new arrival.  
  
Luffy:   
That's my hat!  
  
Hat Vendor:  
We give discounts.  
  
Sanji:  
Have we met?  
  
Chopper:  
Just get a different one.  
  
Luffy:  
This is Shanks' hat!  
(pointing at vendor) And he's a thief!  
  
Tashigi:   
That's what they all say.  
  
Usopp:  
Perhaps I can barter...  
  
Smoker:   
Which officer is coming?  
  
Luffy (through clenched teeth):  
You try and barter then...  
  
Smoker:  
The Admiral? Damn!  
  
Pirates:  
Gotta find that One Piece  
Gotta find that One Piece  
Gotta find that One Piece  
Sometime - this year!  
  
Once you start, you can not stop  
Being a pirate is the tops!  
Smell of salt  
And sea's addicting  
'Pirate living' is really living.  
  
No briefcase,  
No 9 - 5,  
No severance  
No shirts, no ties,  
No 'wife, kids and white picket fence'  
'wife, kids and white picket fence'  
  
No beer in this can of - oh no!  
  
Marines:  
I'm dreaming of Marine justice -  
Just like the kind I used to know.  
Prison cells, prison cells...  
  
Tra la la la - Tra la la la  
You have the right to remain  
Silent. Docks tonight aren't quiet...  
  
Fall on your knees. Oh justice divine -   
You're gonna do some time.  
Tra la la la  
Tra la la la  
  
Junkies:  
Got any Wadous?   
Got a Kintetsu?  
Got any tantos?  
Got a Kintetsu?  
  
I'm illin'  
I'm willin'  
Gotta get another sword.  
Wadou - help me.  
Follow the man. Follow the man.  
Follow the man.   
Shirasaya Shirasaya  
  
Follow the man. Follow the man.  
Sugaha Aikuchi Shirasaya Shirasaya  
Sugaha Aikuchi Shirasaya Shirasaya  
Got any Wadous? Got a Kintetsu?  
Sugaha Aikuchi Shirasaya Shirasaya  
  
Hat Vendor:  
Twenty five.  
  
Usopp:  
Fifteen.  
  
Hat Vendor:  
Twenty five.  
  
Usopp:  
Fifteen.  
  
Hat Vendor:  
No way. Twenty five.  
  
Usopp:  
Fifteen.  
  
Hat Vendor:  
Twenty four.  
  
Usopp:  
Fifteen.  
  
Hat Vendor:  
Not today.  
Twenty three.  
  
Usopp:  
Fifteen.  
  
Hat Vendor:  
Twenty three.  
  
Usopp:  
Fifteen.  
  
Hat Vendor:  
Twenty three.  
  
Usopp:  
Fifteen.  
It's old.  
  
Luffy:  
What did you just say about my hat?!  
  
Hat Vendor:  
Twenty two.  
  
Usopp:  
Fifteen.  
  
Hat Vendor:  
Twenty one.  
  
Usopp:  
Fifteen.  
  
Luffy:  
This is too slow.  
  
Hat Vendor:  
Seventeen.  
  
Usopp:  
Fifteen.  
  
Hat Vendor:  
Fifteen.  
  
Usopp and Hat Vendor:  
Sol-!  
  
(Luffy hits the Hat Vendor in the face, knocking him unconscious. He takes his hat back and walks away whistling...)  
  
Zoro:  
Let's   
Get   
To   
The Ship...  
  
Sanji:   
But Nami's performance!  
  
Tashigi:  
Who's Nami?  
  
Zoro:  
His master.  
  
Sanji:  
I so love her!  
  
Zoro:   
Now just step out of the way...  
  
Tashigi:  
Is that a warning?  
  
(The boys make a dash for it - Tashigi takes a swipe at them as they run past.)  
  
Sanji and Zoro/Tashigi:  
You need to take it easy/It won't be that easy!  
  
Sanji and Zoro (running like mad through the crowds):  
We should go now We should go now  
We should go now We should go now  
We should go now We...  
  
All:  
And it's beginning to  
And it's beginning to  
And it's beginning to  
  
Nami:  
Vivi, are we ready to go?  
  
All:  
RAIN!  
  
==============  
Long time, no update, huh? Gomen. I kept tripping up over the Sword Junkie part. I had to do some web research to find names of swords. I ended up listing certain styles of tantos, which are 10" to 11" inch Japanese style dagger/swords. It was difficult, but I did it! Yatta! The final songs are also long and super difficult, but hang in there. I would also like to thank the reviewers who took a chance on this without knowing the musical. It's true OP dedication when you choose to download the songs just to read the fic! Gracias and arigatou. 


End file.
